And yesterday was the nicest day in my whole life. Everything just went perfectly, I left my mothers place with a good feeling.. Well not. I was feeling sick, I just walked the street to the dentist like a drunken person.

Anyway, the receptionist at the dentist was a nice lady. She was very polite and reassured me that my irrational fear of dentist was going to be alright, that I was going to be alright.

Got to the dentist, well she wasn't as nice as the last dentist I had, but was nice regardless. And when I left I had these wonderful white, beautiful theeth. 

Next stop was to my working place, the bar that I work for, I met my boss, and he was having a good day, so we did what we did and I left with a happier mood still, 

then to the bank, where they tell me that I can't have master card. Which I don't need :) So no worries there. Anyway, next to the optic, where they found me lenses for my eyes, so no more glasses to me! ^^

Next I went to a bar and met my mother there, we sang and had fun, I didn't drink too much or anything but eventually she left with a sour mood, can't figure out why, I noticed that I was sick there. Had fever and so forth. Felt like a mess, and left the place at eleven.

Came to my mother's place and the first things in her mouth is:"You have ruined my life" And so - my wonderful day was ruin. So I relapsed. being depressed is truly shit. You have no joy in your life. I mean real joy, and you don't take care of the everyday things.

You just don't care enough to clean up your place and keep yourself in a good health. That's the reason when so many that are just depressed get the brand of being lazy assholes.

And it bugs me, it truly does. Well no matter, I remember when I was 16 or so, and first time moved out, I felt lighter somehow, and was a cleaning freak, everything just went  so well. I felt happy there.

Like something in my life was just going well. No I have learned that I have gotten done absolutely nothing. Nothing nothing nothing.

I have just lazed around doing nothing achieving nothing. Everyone around me get things done and so forth. And no comments like:" You are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you." Fuck that I tell you. 

My dream was to be a doctor. I would be forty when I get to be a doctor, unless a miracle happens. So no stories about that kind of shit. I just have to find something new for my dream. 

I hope your life goes well, mine doesn't.

Azrael-Swan°°